“I swear to God I’m going to pistol whip the next guy who says ‘Shenanigans’!”

Dick Heller, of District of Columbia v. Heller fame, has, again, with two co-plaintiffs, filed a law-suit against D.C., “alleging that the District’s new gun registration is burdensome and continues to unlawfully outlaw most semiautomatic pistols.” I’m pretty sure that the following constitutes shenanigans:

In the District’s view, [acting District Attorney General] Nickles said, the ruling gives people the right to use firearms in self-defense but not the right to keep firearms loaded and ready for use in case the need for self-defense arises. As a result, he said, it is reasonable for the city to require that handguns be kept unloaded and disabled when the owner is not under a direct threat.

Be sure to use a revolver when whipping Nickles.

I’d offer my own commentary on the sheer absurdity of Nickels’ comments, but Heller’s attorney, Stephen P. Halbrook, handles the task smoothly:

Under the D.C. [law], a robber has to make an appointment with you so you can get your gun ready for him.

Unsatisfied, it seems, with the ineptitude and inability to understand the Supreme Court’s ruling displayed by other representatives of the District’s totalitarian government, Councilmen Phil Mendelson quipped, “I hope that people who agree with Mr. Heller will explain to us [at the hearing] what the best ways are to ensure safe storage.”

There once was a fool named Fenty,
who of brains cells lacked plenty.
Though he knew that they’d sue,
oh, what did he do?
He continued to run a police-state government-y.

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