My roommate, Vadim, regarding Avril Lavigne: “Now I believe in conspiracy theories.”

I have no idea why he stumbled upon this, but he drew to my attention that Avril Lavigne’s “Girlfriend” has reached NINETY-SIX-POINT-THREE-PLUS BILLION hits. This song is atrocious, the video is about as inspiring as later-years Simpsons, and, well, she looks like hell in this video. Absolute hell. Please, Avril, spare us all: Grow up. (This last line applies equally to whatever sort of demented soul(s) find pleasure, sadistic or masochistic, in repeatedly playing this video simply to increase the hit total.)

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